using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
