You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize