dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
