If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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