it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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