Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
