really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
