I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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