We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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