I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
