I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
