i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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