my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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