I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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