Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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