I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think my moral compass just broke
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
