"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
