You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize