someone threw a dead crab at me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
