Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
