This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
