thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
