i don't like sucking hair
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
