I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
