I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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