Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize