is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
