your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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