nut hugger
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
