The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize