So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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