No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
