I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
