New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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