it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
