evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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