i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
