Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
