Do vagina's smell?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
