The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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