No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
