You smell like stripper and shame
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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