I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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