honey bunches of taint.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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