is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize