this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
