I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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