Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
