Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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