I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
