Need sex. Gaining weight.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
