The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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