Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She just used a chaser for red wine.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize