Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im holly from the hills drunk
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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