Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Quick, to the slutcave!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize