Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
