3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
