whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
