After last night, I could never be a politician.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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