New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
