I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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