1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize