You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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