They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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