If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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