Who wears a wallet chain?!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize