thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
