If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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