Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
