Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
