That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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