She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
