honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
