careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I cut my penus on the lid.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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